sulking

i’m currently at a low. i don’t even know if it’s because i’m at such a low that i’ve lost emotions.

my first hope is gone, and now i’m waiting on my second hope.
i will pray with all my might that i’m able to beat through this.
i’m so ready to move on, but i guess if the world can’t give you the chance, or you can’t create the chance, there’s nothing much you can do about it.

did the talk help? i guess, in terms of someone to comfort me.
and i really appreciate it.
but i know it isn’t going to help the situation. there’s no one that can help me expect myself.
do i want to ask amir for help? i honestly don’t, i feel like i’m cheating, and i don’t know what the consequences are if someone finds out.
but if i’m stuck with no path, will i? definitely,

i know sitting here being upset about it won’t help, and i must get back up to finish what i on my plate now.
but i just wanted to move on, i was ready to try again and succeed. and i still am ready to succeed.

can the world hear me plead? am i pleading hard enough?

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