helpless again.

i don’t even know what happened.
maybe it’s because i went to hand in my documents at arts advising that made me more nervous than normal. no idea. don’t know.
but it was the first time that my emotions have changed so much. basically from one side to another. how.
I felt like i didn’t wanna be at work, and i wanted to leave, i didn’t know what i was doing there. i wanted my friends there. i don’t know.

all it took was for Myette to mention her old office assistant, and how langara took her in for school that my heart sank.
how. is it because i know i’m on the line?

in my heart, all i want to say is “i promise, i promise.” but these people that are going to handle this are not the type of people that will easy fall for pleads. it’s about whether i tried or not, if i have legit reasons. and all i can currently do is just hope. that i can make it
but with so many dead lines coming up. i don’t even know how this will work out.


i don’t know what i’m doing here. i don’t know what is happening. i just want to move on. can you please let me. please. i’m almost there, almost there. i’m sorry. please.

this new job was supposed to be a happy thing for me,even if it was stressful, even if it’s hard, this is supposed to be happy. i don’t want this to effect my job, please. i’m helpless again.


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