i honestly don’t know.

yea, i agree with my parents, i really should stop saying “i don’t know” so much.
But this time it is different.
i really don’t know what i want, or what i’m doing.
i THOUGHT i wanted to go into a certain program, but did i really want to, or was this all an excuse that i used to tell my parents and to tell myself?
do i REALLY want to be doing this?
i feel as though i’m constantly being inspired by all these wonderful people around me, artists, musicians, great writers, and people that have finally found what they wanted to do and starting to succeed.
but me. when i look at my own hands, my accomplishments, my abilities, my talents, my GRADES, my image.
WHAT. AM. I. DOING. WITH. MY. LIFE.

writing this is supposed to be one of those “get up on starting working!” type posts to myself, but i just keep giving myself excuses.
and it makes me wonder, is this is what i want? are you sure ariel?
sitting here at 3am won’t change a thing,
get going.

so here it is.
an opportunity.
with my grades i’m pretty sure i won’t get in.
but it’s worth a try right?
it’s not like the money is a problem; but if you don’t try you won’t know. right?
but what am i doing?
are you sure?

i just wish time could slow down a little.

// 3:10am
–> maybe i just need a solo walk, a mini vacation to think and stuff, and walk around.

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