that was a bad idea.
yes i get it.
i unno, it was one of those
“ARIEL DO IT. OR ELSE YOU’LL REGRET”
and now i do regret.
and when i needed a gut move so i WON’T have a regret.
i don’t get it.
and then there’s another regret.
the last time few times i’ve check
just when i thought my life was heading towards the better,
the mistakes and the problems that people go through shape who they are
well fuck that i’ve had enough.
i want something to right for a once.
and it’s been a long time since i remembered something going right.
i know this isn’t going to happen
but i want things to go back to when they were the happiest.
i don’t wanna feel like it’s an effort to smile everyday
cuz right now.
it’s feeling a little like that.
now i just feel like another complaining loser about how their life sucks shit.
and to me,
i’ve never felt lonelier
never felt so cold since alan
and i don’t like revisiting that place.
it took me a year to completely get over it i have no clue why
(once again i think it’s the situation more than the person)
and i do not wish to spend another year of my life wasted.
i wish i didn’t always write my memories in my little book of secrets with my favouite pen,
it only makes me hate myself more.
editt//` @ 11:56pm
OH I GET THE IRONY.
ALL MY EXES BROKE UP WITH ME IN AUGUST.