“And another way to express it if there is a super entity running things why is everything so screwed up?”

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Ch 5: Seeing Life from God’s View

Before I start this chapter. I just wanted to document some thought I’ve had since the last time i read.

First is that i would like to take this from a neutral point of view, and i’m not trying to make it sound like God is a bad person. But….i just find the things that are being suggested in this book questionable. The things that are suggested about God’s decision don’t sound very fair, and suggest a “my way or the highway” life. It’s God’s decision. It always will be.

Second is just, some thoughts about the “trials”, or hardships that God puts people through. I’ve been told that people will always make it through these trials, and make them realize that they were stronger than before. Then what about the people that come out of these trials with decreased mental health, or decided to suicide? How does that work? So you’re telling me, specifically in the case of Chester Bennington of Linkin Park, that God put him through a trial. He was already dealing with his mental health, and on top of that his dear friend died; that was God’s trial, and Chester will make it. But here’s the thing. Chester didn’t make it. Chester took his own life. He committed suicide. So what does this mean about God’s actions? Given that “It was all part of God’s plan”? Are you telling me that:

  1. God wanted Chester to go through the loss of his friend.
  2. and God planned for Chester to die? Or was it that the trial was too much and God was like “Woops. Chester died”. Where does God draw the line? Did God plan Chester’s death?
  3. And so there’s a ripple effect, because his family and fans are all mourning his death. So now we’re going through a trial too?
  4. Does that mean Chester’s death was a sacrifice for us to go through a trial? Was this God’s plan?

I just find it hard to believe that unfortunate deaths were all part of “God’s Plan”. Are you going to tell me that if Chester went to church and turned to Jesus to accept all that he has done Chester would have survived? Hm. Really makes you think doesn’t it.


How do i see my life? I wish to see life around me as a positive place. But of course, bad things happen everyday. And i believe that the bad things that happen, are the selfish acts of a single person/group of people. But positivity can travel for miles. I like to live in a such a way that i’m learning everyday, take in all different perspectives, and challenge those that don’t make sense to me so that i can understand. My major has taught me to think about the information presented to me in a more critical and scientific fashion. I would like to believe that i see this world in an unbias way. I understand that i have privilege, but that i’m also a minority based on my gender and race. This is how i view life.

  • “If i asked you how you picture life, what image would come to mind? That image is your life metaphor”
    • I would think that my life is either a blank piece of paper, or a “choose your ending” game/book. The blank of paper means that the type of colours you choose to fill your paper depends on your mood and how you decide to fill the world. If it’s more positive, then the palette would brighter colours. But if you’re having a hard time, then the colours maybe a darker shade. And you slowly fill in this piece of paper as you go on in life. The “choose your ending” game/book because you’re always given a good choice and bad choice (or better vs worst choice) and you have to pick one that you believe will help you get to the end the story, and hopefully you’ll get a happy ending. you won’t know if the choices were correct till the end. But that’s all part of the game. decision making. and using your feelings to figure out what makes sense to you. There are no instruction manuals or tutorials. just you.
    • Side note “If you see life as a battle or a game, winning will be very important to you” I would just like to add that my “choose your ending” game/book isn’t about ending. It’s about figuring our the stories, and the character development and learning the moral of the story.
  • “You may be basing your life on a faulty life metaphor. To fulfill the purposes God made you for, you will have to challenge conventional wisdom and replace it with the biblical metaphors of life. The Bible says, ‘Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God.'”
    • How do you determine what is considered “faulty”? Anything that isn’t in line with the words of God? I would also argue, that these “biblical metaphors” can also be replicated without the influence of religion and still have the same effect. I just find it hard to believe that my ideas of life, where i should treat everyone nicely and do good is considered “conventional”. Why do i need to subscribe to a religion in order to make my beliefs even better. 
  • “The Bible offers three metaphors that teach us God’s view on Life”
  • #1 “Life on earth is a Test” “God continually test’s people’s character, faith obedience, love, integrity, and loyalty”
    • This directly relates to what i wrote up top about Chester Bennington. What about those people that don’t pass the test. Because there are people that don’t make it. Are you telling me that God tests married couple’s commitment by giving them marital issues to deal with? What about the kids that come out of divorce families. Why. Are. You. Out. To. Test. Me. I’m not your guinea pig. I’m not a piece in your game. Why can’t you just let me make my own decisions and have the consequences come back and bite me. I can’t accept the fact that there’s a God out there, who purposely puts people through pain to make them learn. How is this any different from an abusive parent that kicks their kids out of their house? “IT’S A TRIAL. I’M TESTING YOUR CHARACTER.” Is this supposed to be a version of tough love? God loves you so he wants you to grow by making you go through tough situations? But again. How does it work with people that don’t make it? Were they weak? Or was that part of God’s plan. If God’s plan showed all along that the person won’t make it through the trial. Then why did God do it in the first place?
  • Character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test. You are always being tested. God constantly watches your response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, disappointment, and even weather!”
    • i would like to believe that my character developed just fine without the light of God. and i would like to continue to think that my character would continue to grow in a positive direction. i would also like to argue that there are still people that develop their character through the light of God and are still shitty people. These tests do nothing. The results are inconclusive. Don’t mix causation with correlation. This is the basic of science.
  • “You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism, and even senseless tragedies”
    • Senseless tragedies: So you’re saying mass shootings (in elementary schools, in high schools, and clubs), suicides, and diseases are part of God’s plan and are challenges that he puts out for us. Where does God draw the line. Is global warming one of those tragedies? Because the whole world is going to die. What about the Richmond Dad that had his wife just pass away due to complications during child birth? Is that a trial? I’m not trying to say that bad things don’t happen in the world. Because they do. The world isn’t just rainbows, sunshine, and lollipops. But why is it, that God is the one creating all of this. Why does he create all this pain? Did we all vote on this or something?
  • “A very important test is how you act when you can’t feel God’s presence in your life. Sometimes God intentionally draws back, and we don’t sense his closeness”
    • Well God has drawn back from my life for the past 25 years and i’ve been doing fine. I live my life with a critical eye, I don’t (or at least try not to) judge people from their skin colour, sexual preferences. I’m caring and funny. I developed all of this, without the light of God. I think i’ll be fine. As a matter of fact. His “re-entry” (if this is what you would to call it) has only further confirmed that i don’t need him in my life. and i’m fine without him.
  • “When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life”
    • I pity the fool that lives life insignificantly. No one does that. Maybe if they’re depressed, but at that point these people need some assistance. But are you saying that people that don’t take on God’s trial, live an insignificant life?!
  • “The good news is that God wants you to pass the tests of life, so he never allows the test you face to be greater than the grace he gives you to handle them”
    • This doesn’t explain suicides. Are suicides God’s miscalculations? But i thought God had it all figured out. Then why do people suicide? Or did God know they were gonna suicide and then decided to proceed anyways?
  • “Every time you pass a test, God notices and makes plans to reward you in eternity”
    • So i guess Chester isn’t making it to heaven? Well shit. But Chester is a good person. But wait. If God wants you to pass. but people fail. what happens to them?
  • #2 “Life on earth is a Trust” “Our time on earth and our energy, intelligence, opportunities, relationships and resource are all gifts from God that he has entrusted to our care and management.”
    • he entrusted these traits to a Agnostic Atheist. and i’ve been doing just fine.
  • “We never really own anything during our brief stay on earth. God just loans the earth to us while we’re here. It was God’s property before you arrived, and God will loan it to someone else after you die. You just get to enjoy it for a while”
    • Why does God sound more and more like an abusive parent. If you’re not good I’ll take it away. You need to return everything back to me because you’re only borrowing from me. Enjoy it while you can, because i’m gonna give you a trial by kicking you out. Good luck?! If nothing that i carry with me is mine, then what’s even the point?! It’s like renting a car or a house and never buying something to call your own and you’ve worked hard for!? Also if the earth belongs to God, then WHY GLOBAL WARMING!? Is his next plan to kill off all the Polar Bears?! Does God hate Polar Bears?!
  •  “What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if all you have is from God, why boast as though you have accomplished something on your own?”
    • I’m. Sorry!? Everything that I’ve done up to this point in my life. I’ve earned and deserved it. I finished my schooling. I fought for my cats. I take care of my friends. I accomplished everything that i own. And i will be proud of everything that i’ve done and accomplished on my own. even if it’s wrong. because i put my blood sweat and tears into it. Don’t take credit away from all the work, blood, sweat, and tears i’ve put into everything i own today. I. Did. It. All. On. My. Own. (Thank. You. Very. Much)
  • (Author continues to talk about how a couple in Hawaii let him and his wife use their vacation home. The author used all the amenities in the house and took special care of it because it’s not theirs”
    • Well duh. isn’t that just called common courtesy!? I believe you can learn this outside of the bible and believe that God just lends you stuff. i would really question the people that don’t live like that……
  • “Our culture says, ‘if you don’t own it, you won’t take care of it’ But Christians live by a higher standard: ‘Because God owns it, I must take the best care of it that i can'”
    • Okay first. Wait what? I don’t take care of something……because it’s not mine? Um i think thats just bad parenting. Also. some Christians don’t take care of their shit either. So don’t make this a “religious issue”. Please go ask Donald Trump why he’s not taking care of the earth (Trump is a professed Presbyterian). I take care of all my stuff. My physical health, my mental health, my friends, my family. All of it. But here’s my favourite part ladies and gentleman, “But Christians live by a higher standard.” There we go. People that aren’t Christian. Is clearly. not good enough. I can’t belong on that high standard. I’m sorry. I’ll just stay down here. thanks. I don’t want to be up there anyways.
  • “That means everything you do even simple daily chores, has eternal implications. If you treat everything as a trust, God promises three rewards in eternity. First, you will be given God’s affirmation: He will say, ‘Good job! Well done!’ Next, you will receive a promotion and be given greater responsibility in eternity: ‘I will put you in charge of many things.’ Then you will be honoured with a celebration: ‘Come and share your Master’s happiness.’ “
    • if chores have eternal implications, then i’m clearly going to hell. Why does the three rewards sound like i’m working in an office. you’re telling me that i will spend the ages of 22 ish to 60 ish grinding away for the same approval at work ONLY TO DO IT AGAIN?! Hm,
  • “Most people fail to realize that money is both a test and a trust from God” “God watches how we use monty to test how trustworthy we are”
    • so….are student loan debts a test and clear sign that i can’t take care of money well!? cuz shit. i needed an education, so that i can be even more unemployed than before. woops. That second line though. Honestly sounds like one of those Televanglist lines. “PLANT YOUR SEED WITH ME FOR $1000 AND YOUR MONEY WILL GROW!”
  • How i manage my money (“worldly wealth”) determines how much God can trust me with spiritual blessings (“true riches”). Let me ask you: Is the way you manage your money preventing God from doing more in your life? Can you be trusted with spiritual riches?”
    • well then. I guess i’m not deserving of spiritual blessings because i was shit with money.

Points to Ponder: Life is a test and a trust

Why, do i need to be tested all the time. I find this test. invalid. I’ve already raised my points about people failing the test because suicide. If anything. This realization about God and faith is a test. and i would say that i’m passing right now. because it’s only strengthening my beliefs. so. Thanks i guess? All part of God’s plan right? mmmmhmmm….really makes you think.

ch. 4

This chapter is called “made to last forever”. i’m also gonna switch things around, because putting the quotes before my response seems like a better way to read this lol

  • “Earth is the staging area, the preschool, the tryout for your life in eternity”
    • Sorry, no. I believe in reincarnation. Though I do agree with the line “This life is preparation for the next” it’s just that the next for me isn’t eternity. It’s my next life.
  • “The reason we feel we should life forever is that God wired our brains with that desire!”
    • nope. not me. living forever sounds sad to me to be honest. I feel like if i lived a full life and completed most of the things on my bucket list. i would be ready to die any time. (i’m not saying i want to die. i’m just saying that i don’t think living forever sounds fun)
  • “While Life on earth offers many choices, eternity offers only two: heaven or hell. Your relationship to God on earth will determine your relationship to him in eternity. If you learn to love and trust God’s Son, Jesus, you will be incited to spend the rest of eternity with him. On the other hand, if you reject his love, forgiveness and salvation, you will spend eternity apart from God forever.”
    • LOL, can someone tell me why this sounds like a popularity contest or like a party that everyone wants to get in on lol. like. you either love him and you get to come to our party. or….you go to hell. kthxbye. like. hm. so it’s all or nothing? it sounds like some preppy popular school boy that’s in love with some girl that’s rejecting him. “you don’t like me susan?! well fuck you too!”
  • “Tragically, many people will have to endure eternity without god because they chose to live without him on earth”
    • So first you tell me that my life will be meaningless, and will have no purpose. and now you tell me that my life will be tragic. some “God of Love” you are….
  • “When you fully comprehend that there is more to life than just here and now, and you realize that life is just preparation for eternity, you will begin to life differently”
    • So again. reincarnation. but i honestly don’t see the problem with living in the here and now. like. am i supposed to tell my friends, hey. sorry. i’m preparing for eternity. so. i’m gonna make sure you go to heaven and i go heaven and i’ll just meet you there? i would much rather say everything that i need to say and treat everyone that i love with the utmost respect before i die and never see them again. i live in there here and now because 活在當下 (Carpe diem) and 珍惜眼前人 (Cherish the people in front of you)
  • “If you time on earth were all there is to your life, I would suggest you start living it up immediately. You could forget about being good and ethical, and you wouldn’t have to worry about any consequences of your action”
    • okay hold up. just because i don’t believe in God and i don’t live my life preparing for “eternity” doesn’t mean that i live a life where i forget to be good or ethical. This is a horrible horrible misconception of people that aren’t faith. and might i add. very unfair. I life a good life, i am ethical. (so ethical that i choose to purchase fair trade products and that don’t support animal testing #Lush). Everyday i live thinking about the consequences of my actions and my words. so PUH-LEEZ. just because i don’t plan for going to heaven or hell doesn’t mean i live carelessly. (also reincarnation)
  • “The most damaging aspect of contemporary living is short-term thinking. To make the most of your life, you must keep the vision of eternity continually in your mind and the value of it in your heart.”
    • Well if trying to plan out 10 years down the road is “short-term” i don’t know what you would consider “long-term”. like literally FOREVER?! i don’t know about that. why even try to plan out life for that long when things can change any moment. just as an example. TRIGGER WARNING I mean one minute you were sitting at your school, and the next minute you’re getting shot up. are you telling me that was part of God’s plan for those children. and in that moment are they supposed to plan for the long-term and worry about going to church? I would say that their “short-term” plan of battling gun rights is absolutely perfect. If those children aren’t living for the “here and now then what else should they be living for?
  • “What is it going to be like in eternity with God? Frankly, the capacity of our brains cannot handle the wonders and greatness of heaven. It would be like trying to describe the Internet to an ant. It’s futile”
    • okay wait. this sounds like a sketchy party. Some guy is telling you “hey bro lets go to this party it’s so awesome” “okay what’s gonna happen there” “i unno it’s so awesome that i can’t even comprehend!” “well what’s that supposed to mean?! like a chocolate fountain? ice sculpture? all you can eat!? open bar!?” “IT’S JUST SO GREAT.”………..i don’t know man. doesn’t sound very convincing to me. if anything. stranger danger LOL
  • “In heaven we will be reunited with loved ones who are believers, released from all pain and suffering, rewarded for our faithfulness on earth, and reassigned to do work that we will enjoy doing.”
    • i don’t know… being reincarnated and then reunited with my family in my next life sounds like a better story than just meeting up at heaven. Can you imagine getting there and thinking “oh hey it’s mom and dad! and aunty and billy, and wait where’s unc……oh……hm i see” or. “OH HEY IT’S MY BFF! and yes! i don’t see Joanne! I KNEW SHE WAS A BITCH”
  • “God has a purpose for your life on earth, but it doesn’t end here. His plan involves far more than the few decades you will spend on this planet”
    • Sounds like God is a better writer than J.K. Rowling and her Harry Potter series, and even the LOTR and Hobbit series.
  • “Just as the nine months you spent in your mother’s womb were not an end in themselves but preparation for life, so this life is preparation for the next”
    • holy shit this sounds like a matrix plot line. you accidentally take the red pill and then you wake up from the matrix LOL
  • “The deeds of this life are the destiny of the next”
    • this i agree with. but i didn’t need a bible to tell me that.

Points to Ponder: There is more to life than just here and now.

I agree. But i also think there is more than planning for an afterlife we can’t even “comprehend” If anything “here and now” should take up the larger portion of life because you want to make sure you treat people that are dear and important to you well when they’re still here, instead of worrying about if they’ll go to heaven and whether you’ll meet the there

Ch. 3

What is my drive? It is to have a positive change on people’s lives. It is to leave a ripple effective of leadership like my leaders in summer school has had on me. I want to live a life full of fun, no regrets, but still being responsible for my actions and my decisions. I want my friends and family to be happy, to feel like they are loved and that I can and will be there whenever they need me. My drive doesn’t depend on other people’s purpose or wishes for me. This is my life.

  • I can and will have a purposeful and meaningful life. outside of this institute. my purpose.
    • “Without a purpose, life is trivial, petty and pointless.”
  • In my life without God, my life has a purpose that I chose for myself, and with this purpose that i have chosen for myself, my life has meaning (because i chose it. and i can change it when life doesn’t work out the same way anymore). With the meaning that i chose for myself, my life has significance because i deem it as important, and it has hope because i am optimistic that i have chosen the right path.  My life is valuable because i know it is, and i believe that it is. My interactions with my friends and family and society tells me that my life has meaning, significance and hope. Don’t tell me otherwise (just because i don’t believe)
    • “Without God, life has no purpose, and without purpose, life has no meaning. Without meaning, life has no significance or hope”
  • This is why religion exists to create drive. Capitalism
    • Marx and his colleague Friedrich Engelswitnessed and responded to the growth of what he called “surplus value“. Marx’s view of capitalism saw rich capitalists getting richer and their workers getting poorer (the gap, the exploitation, was the “surplus value”). Not only were workers getting exploited, but in the process they were being further detached from the products they helped create. By simply selling their work for wages, “workers simultaneously lose connection with the object of labor and become objects themselves. Workers are devalued to the level of a commodity – a thing…” (Ibid 125) From this objectificationcomes alienation. The common worker is led to believe that he or she is a replaceable tool, and is alienated to the point of extreme discontent. Here, in Marx’s eyes, religion enters. Capitalism utilizes our tendency towards religion as a tool or ideological state apparatus to justify this alienation. Christianity teaches that those who gather up riches and power in this life will almost certainly not be rewarded in the next (“it is harder for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle…”) while those who suffer oppression and poverty in this life, while cultivating their spiritual wealth, will be rewarded in the Kingdom of God. Hence Marx’s famous line – “religion is the opium of the people“, as it soothes them and dulls their senses to the pain of oppression. Some scholars have recently noted that this is a contradictory (or dialectical) metaphor, referring to religion as both an expression of suffering and a protest against suffering.[5]
  • Clearly God is telling me that reading this book is more important than writing my paper right now
    • “It is impossible to do everything people want you to do . You have just enough time to do God’s will. If you can’t get it all done, it means you’re trying to do more than God intended for you to do”
  • What’s wrong with trying to improve my life. Does this include getting a higher education degree? Because. it’s not like i don’t have a clear purpose. I do. i just chose to expand my horizons. Changing directions allows me to see the world in different perspectives and in a critical view. What’s wrong with that?
    • “You think, Maybe this time it will be different, but it doesn’t solve your real problem – a lack of focus and purpose.”
  • I’m focusing my time and power on something more important. My friends, family, health, mental health, happiness.
  • My job brings me joy. My job is meaningful. I educate the kids of tomorrow. My struggle to get out of bed is called anxiety or depression. It has nothing to do with my lack of life living without God’s purpose.
    • “Just getting out of bed becomes a major chore. it is usually meaningless work, not overwork, that wears us down, saps our strength, and robs our joy”
  • It’s true. Life isn’t about the trophies and titles. But it’s about knowing that i’ve done good. When i died, i want to know and hear people say that i was kind, caring, a good friend, daughter(, wife, mother, grandmother). I want to hear that i was a good mentor, a good educator, a good colleague, a caring pet owner.  i don’t need/want to hear that “oh she didn’t go to church”  what a shame my life is.
    • “Yet, what ultimately matters most will not be what others say about your life but what God says”
  • I don’t want someone to evaluate for me whether i have done good. I want to die knowing i have. I don’t need another judgement or criticism at my death. Good luck doing that audit. i was a horrible office assistant.
    • “One day you will stand before God, and he will do an audit of your life, a final exam, before you enter eternity”
  • wait what. but…if i don’t believe….that Jesus did anything. then how…….is it that…..like… what if i answer no. Cuz. you didn’t exist in my brain? I mean. My answer would be no. Because…….i…don’t accept it? so……….how?!
    • God won’t ask about your religious background or doctrinal view”
    • The only thing that will matter is, did you accept what Jesus did for you and did you learn to love and trust him?”
  • Reincarnation.
    • The first question will determine where you spend eternity”
  • I don’t know. I’ll be in my next life. With no memory of my previous.
    • The second question will determine what you do in eternity”

Point to Ponder: Living on purpose is the path to peace

I will decide what my own purpose is. Though i agree with the points of guilt, resentment and anger, fear, materialism, and approval, i don’t need someone to decide for me what my purpose is. i will learn to live and forgive myself and live a humble life without someone telling me what i should or should not to, what is or what is not a waste of time.

I think what i wrote is genius LOL:

In my life without God, my life has a purpose that I chose for myself, and with this purpose that i have chosen for myself, my life has meaning (because i chose it. and i can change it when life doesn’t work out the same way anymore). With the meaning that i chose for myself, my life has significance because i deem it as important, and it has hope because i am optimistic that i have chosen the right path.  My life is valuable because i know it is, and i believe that it is. My interactions with my friends and family and society tells me that my life has meaning, significance and hope. Don’t tell me otherwise (just because i don’t believe)

Hey! Would you like to look outside sometimes? (No!)
I’m just with my friends online
And there’s things we’d like to change!
(OH! Yeah)
Next thing you’ll find you’re reading about yourself on a plane, fame, what a shame! (Oh!)
Well, just keep looking, looking, looking, looking!

Day 2. but not really.

Here goes chapter 2.

  • Well thank you for making me….one…two….three….fourfivesix. Hexalingual.
    • “He also determined the natural talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality”
  • PSYCH. kill myself now. jk. well i guess you planned that. thanks.
    • “He planned the days of your life in advance, choosing the exact time of your birth and death”
  • I guess he planned global warming, and i guess he planned for people to deny. Oh wait. so did he plan global warming. or is it the opposite? That he didn’t plan global warming. Hm. i wonder.
  • Okay so wait. if God created gay people. Then why do people say it’s wrong? Was that a mistake? Because if He makes no mistakes. then clearly something is wrong here…..There’s some sort of miscommunication here.
  • A love with exceptions. Clearly the LGBTQA community doesn’t receive the same amount of love. Or maybe I don’t deserve this love because I don’t believe *shrug* I don’t want it.
    • “Because he is a God of love”
  • Well shit. Westboro Baptist Church clearly didn’t get the message then. Because…….I don’t think…….that’s…..love LOL.
    • “But he wanted to make you in order to express his love”
  • If there’s anything that taught me more about love. It’s Harry Potter. But i didn’t need to know anything about religion to understand it. Why can’t it be like this? Maybe we should all read Harry Potter instead.
    • “The Harry Potter series, summed up, is about love. The power of a mother’s love saved Harry from dying the night his parents did. Snape’s love for Lily kept Harry safe. Harry’s ability to love became his biggest strength. The list can go on. J.K. Rowling taught us all from a young age that the power of love should never be underestimated.”
    • “You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!” – Albus Dumbledore
  • Um, what? I’m not an accident. Whether I was wanted or not. Even if i WAS an accident. My goal in life is to make it so that i’m NOT. I am no accident to the friends that i love and care for. I am no accident to the influence i have on the students i teach. It is no accident that the decisions i made helped me get to where i am today. If i stopped reading this book the purpose of my life would still continue. I will continue to educate and mentor my students – the people of the future. I would have meaning. I would continue to do good in the world at the best of my ability. I will take care of my friends. I will take care of the animals i have adopted for they are worth the love, care, and attention. I know my wrongs and rights. I know it’s wrong to judge people. I know it’s wrong to tell me that my life will have no meaning beyond believe and beyond this book. If i was “astronomical random chance in the universe”  then let that be. Because i know i am amazing, i am caring, i am kind, i am a good friend. And if i was to exist by chance. WELL THAT’S FUCKING AMAZING. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
    • “If there was no God, we would all be “accidents,” the result of astronomical random chance in the universe. You could stop reading this book because life would have no purpose or meaning or significance. There would be no right or wrong, and no hope beyond your brief years here on earth”
  • Why must my truth in life depend on me being created by someone. Why can’t i exist purely for the fact that i exist. and I’m here to do good? Why is it that if i have “no god” then my life is an accident, chane, no purpose or meaning or significance. That i would have no right or wrong, and no hope? How is this fair for anyone?
    • “But there is a god who made you for a reason, and your life has profound meaning!”

“Point to Ponder: I am not an accident”

I accept that i am not an accident. And that i was created the way i am for a reason. But these are all results of agency. decisions that my parents made without belief. I am thankful and proud of the path that it has taken me to get to the place today. I am proud to say i am from Hong Kong and that i live in Richmond. That i’m privilege with things most people may not have. But these are choices that my parents have chosen, and has thus changed my story. I chose to take classes on the weekend to learn languages and not give up. But you’re telling me that my parents CHOSE or that it was a part of the PLAN to allow me to lose hope through sport. It was the plan for me to lose something so dear to me – a sport-  during a critical period of my life. Yes. i found it again. but with the help of my friends. I chose these things in my life. and i make good choices. and i will continue to make good choices. If there was every anything in my life that i felt was “meant to be”. It would be King and Princess. I know i was made to save them. But even then. I fought my parents for their lives. I showed commitment. I showed that i care. I showed that they’re important. I DID IT ALL.

And she said, “I’ve been so worried about you lately
You look shit and smell a bit
You’re mad thinking you could ever save me
Not looking like that

Day 1: I’m starting this with a critical eye.

I am agnostic. I am open to alternative povs. But that won’t stop me from criticizing something that challenges my way of living.

Let me start this journey by saying that I believe there is a “set story” in our lives. That every decision we make alters this story. Every day it changes a little. The fact that I decided to take a certain bus but not the other – Alters my life story. But whether this is due to some “supernatural being” controlling the board, or playing “i knew it”. I doubt it.

I want to document my thoughts. criticism. ideas. I guess as a proof for myself. Whatever the outcome is.

  • First of all. I’m not selfish. But I don’t believe I was put on to this earth for reasons to fulfill’s someone’s purpose or goals or whatever they’re called. I am on this earth because my parents wanted me to be here. I live to take care of my friends and family. To complete dreams and goals and have a complete life. How sad is it to live under someone else’s purpose. As if I’m a pawn in this great “story” or “narrative”. I do things that I think are good because i know that my judgement is correct. I have agency.
    • agency is the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices.”
  • Why do I have to worry about what God created me to be? I have my own goals. I am aware of them. I would like to attack them without having to be concerned with external desires and expectations.
  • I’m content with not knowing. I live my life day to day. I completely accept that I know nothing about life and i am fine with it. I don’t want to know. and i am fine with not knowing. If i die today i would have no regrets. My only concern for my life to know that i’ve done good. and that i didn’t cause any harm or pain to people. I could die tomorrow for all i care and i would be fine.
    • “You were made by God and for God – and until you understand that, life will never make sense”
  • Why do we have to ask someone (whom has no proof exists) what the meaning of life is. I would like to create my own meaning and my own understanding of the world that I’m about to live for another 50 or so years. I’m not convince my life was created by this “guy”.
    • “The same is try for discovering your life’s purpose: Ask God”
  • My life has been a series of social interactions. I make meaning from the items that i surround myself with through social facts. Religion is merely a “Social Fact” (Durkheim) that i don’t believe in.
    • “To discover your purpose in life you must turn to God’s Word, not the world”
  • Hey. Thank you for designing some anxiety and depression into my life. Thank you making 2014 the shittiest year of my life. Really made me stronger and into who i am. Thanks. So fucking glorious. But then again. I won’t be who I am if i didn’t deal with it. But there we go again. I dealt with it. Agency. I made those choices. So thank you, me. Thank you for your will power, me.
    • “…he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living”
  • Well. Fuck. I had my purpose picked out already
    • “You may choose your career, your spouse, your hobbies, and many other parts of your life, but you don’t get to choose your purpose”
  • My life has been fine the way it is. No need to congratulate me.
    • “Congratulations, you’re about to walk into the light”

As instructed by the book. There is stuff to think about:

“Points to Ponder: It’s not about me”

You’re right. It’s not about me. It’s about my friends and family. This also does not mean it’s about someone else that I didn’t choose. I have agency. I make choices that are good to the world, that are responsible, that are caring. I don’t need someone to tell me what I need to do or need not to do. I also don’t think it’s someone’s job to tell me that i’m wrong about what i believe in. As if your purpose is greater than my purpose because i don’t believe the same things you do. It’s unfair. Because. isn’t it about you now? That you have a purpose that is so “divine” that, i also need to have it? Hm. Makes you think doesn’t it.

I currently feel extremely empowered to critically critique this book.

I’ve got a God shaped hole
That’s infected
And I’m petrified of being alone now
It’s pathetic, I know

unforeseen.

i say/think about this quote a lot

 It’s not about who you’ve been with. It’s about who you end up with. Sometimes the heart doesn’t know what it wants until it finds what it wants. – Pam Beesly

i’m scared to overuse it. but the quote speaks some truth. all the other times, i never found what i wanted. i thought i did. and yet the one time that i wasn’t looking and anticipating. you pop out of no where.

i’m so thankful.